Friday, 26 September 2014

The Election of Abubakar Shekau

Following the death of AbubakarShekau
We hereby cause to be elected, AbubakarShekau
In the rusted hands of The International Community
Observers of our extinct African humanity

For we have not known how to live
Even though unto humanity a lot we did give
We do not have any more religion
Save for those who grab moneys to see us visions

Now it is Election Day, and we've got no options…
On the queue, we see no one who's got the gumption
Our nostrils perceive the electioneering promises
From the aromas of charred huts and roasted human beings

But we all love the great AbubakarShekau
Who lived and died for me and you
We loved the scowl that eternally sat on his sad brow
As he delivered his presidential speeches on YouTube

AbubakarShekau's invisible posters are everywhere
He uploaded them on the wild wild web which we all share
He promises unlimited good life in the hereafter
And thereafter his assignment is to send us there

And this new Shekau, is he brash enough to fill the shoes?
Does he have scorn and treachery enough for two?
Does he watch satellite TV and ask you not to?
Does he rape virgins here and promise heaven for you?

It doesn't matter whatever he thinks
Or what volume of alcohol he drinks
It won't matter that Shekau performs no ablution
Shekau will tell us what to do with the barrel and the bomb

Darkness is creeping in and the accreditation is almost done
It doesn't matter how we vote, this election is lost and won
It will be the freest and fairest and most credible one
Not a shot fired, no polling agent brandishing a gun

Tonight will be the most jubilant in our beds
With brilliant fireworks in our dreams, hope in our heads
That someday some-ass atop a rock shall give us some bread

Before he tells us we are living, even if we are dead

Odoh Diego Okenyodo is a Nigerian writer, activist poet, journalist, public relations and advertising practitioner. He is the Country Director of Splendors of Dawn Poetry Foundation in Nigeria.